New Every Morning

January 1st came and went. It's the start of a new year, and I am SO not ready for it. Christmas was a whirlwind of tissue paper, toys, travel and not a few tears (not necessarily in that order). We left our house in Indiana at 3am the day after Christmas to catch an early morning flight in Chicago, landing in Atlanta around 9am, and filling the next few days with family fun, including a memorable visit to the Southeastern Railway Museum (Cormac was thrilled!). We arrived back home late Friday night with my mother in tow, and spent New Year's Eve at a wedding. And then, all of the sudden, it's 2017.

In years past, I've had a list of goals, resolutions, anti-resolutions, statements or some-such, ready to go. This year, I've been caught unawares. Is this a bad sign? First day of the new year and I'm already behind? I think it just means I need to take a little more time to figure it out. Perhaps this year should be the year for more breathing room, taking time to step back and enjoy the precious moments I've been given, to share them with my little family, rather than continuing to run forward at breakneck pace, trying to fit in more than any one person possibly can. It's easy to get caught up, to say "yes" more than "no", and painstakingly piece together a schedule that fits everything within the spare minutes of every day.

But maybe everything doesn't have to be done. I feel as though I've spread myself thin and perhaps now is the time to reign it in. The whole world doesn't need me to commit to everything, but I can name least three people who do need me on a daily basis. If I'm overfocused on everything else, will I have the time and energy I need left to devote to them? I don't want to withdraw from all activities -- just focus on the things that are most important. Prioritizing can be difficult but, at certain times of life, it becomes more necessary. My children are young and need a mother who is present, even in the little moments that may not seem to matter much. My husband is responsible and hard-working, he handles so much on his own, but he still needs a wife who is resilient and encouraging, especially at the end of a long day. My creative juices rarely cease flowing, and I will always seek outlets for that, but perhaps this year means focusing more attention on fewer projects, rather than spreading myself too thin for the sake of an opportunity or a paycheck.

I can name three things right now that I'm going to stop doing. And it will mean three things I can do better for my family. I guess it's not really about what my priorities are so much as who. Mothering is a selfless gift of time and energy. But the funny part is, the more you give the more you get. So if giving less to other people means giving more to my family, I think it's the right move.

January 1st was also a Sunday. We got up and went to church as normal, but the words felt like they were directed to me in particular, even as I wrangled an antsy three-year-old. Amidst the whirlwind of activity, busy holidays and travel, a year full of change and growth, I was feeling worn out. The verses from Lamentations came from a place of struggle and emptiness, "my soul is bereft of peace." (Lamentations 3:17). I wasn't quite that far down, but as a young wife and mother, it's not hard to imagine a place of mental, physical and spiritual exhaustion. But that's not an ending; it's a beginning.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;his mercies never come to an end;they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,“therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentations 3:22-24

Starting the new year from a place of faith means trusting in God's faithfulness. Rather than striving to carve out my own goals, pursuing every new opportunity and struggling to keep up,  I can rest in His mercies that are renewed every morning. That's an impressive promise. But one I can place my hope in. And it makes the start of a new year that much more exciting.

So, cheers to a new year with no resolutions. To doing less and being more. To trusting in God's faithfulness rather than my own provisions. 2017, here we come!

Are Christians Called to Have Great Sex?

Yep, I said it -- the "s" word: SEX. Why are we so afraid to talk about it? There is most definitely a time and place to discuss sexual intimacy (the dinner table is probably not the ideal place), so I figure that's exactly what blogs are for. It should not be so taboo that honest questions are going unanswered and young Christian women and men are suffering from lack of spiritual encouragement in this regard. The question here is not about pre-marital sex -- I believe the boundaries presented by the Bible are pretty clear about God's intent for when sex should take place (Matt. 15:19, Heb 13:4, 1 Cor. 7:2). What I'm talking about here is what happens after the vows have been taken.

A few weeks ago, I read this article (Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex) from Relevant magazine, and my response was "Right on!". Last Friday, however, I attended a women-only seminar called "The Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making?", hosted by the founders of Authentic Intimacy, where some different ideas were presented. Dr. Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow of Authentic Intimacy spoke to 75 women for about 2 hours on Christian marriage, sex and what God intends for us as wives. I wouldn't say it was revolutionary, per se, but it certainly made me think about how we represent sex in our modern Christian culture, and what we really should be living out in our marriage and, therefore, saying to future generations.

Their overarching message centered around the idea that God does intend for us to enjoy sexual intimacy with our husbands, and not just "endure it" as a wifely duty or bypass efforts to improve sexual relations because "it's not really that important". This falls somewhere in between the purity ring approach -- in which sexual expectations are placed upon a pedestal (from which they will ultimately fall) for all "good" Christian girls and boys -- and the gnostic approach, in which the importance of sexual relations is denied, dubbed as outside the realm of Christian pursuits or "lesser" in the marriage relationship (this article seems to come from that perspective: No Need for Nooners). Following either path too far will ultimately lead to idolatry of one sort or another. God created us as both physical and spiritual creatures (and Christ is both fully God and fully man), and His intent is to redeem us fully. He never said sex wasn't part of the equation.

Obviously marriage is about more than sex. I think the article from Relevant magazine makes a good point in that regard. And we certainly shouldn't give up on marriage simply because making it "good" takes work. Sex is also an integral part of the marital relationship that is used in the Bible as a type of Christ's relationship with His bride, the Church. In Ephesians 5:31, Paul addresses this mysterious connection of "two becoming one". As with Christ and His beloved, making the relationship work requires sacrifice and persistence. Sometimes even in the face of rejection. The marriage relationship, including sex, is a means of grace given by God to His people for mutual sanctification as well as His glory. We know that, in the meantime, sin will get in the way, just like with everything else. But this doesn't mean that we should settle for second best. I believe God really does want us to pursue the best marriage (and sex) that we can -- for His glory and for our enjoyment.

At the end of the day (or in the middle of the afternoon, if that's your preference), we need to remember both sides of the story. In this life, we will never achieve physical perfection and that includes the physical relationship with our husband/wife. But God is the Great Physician, and this means He has given us healing in every area of life -- including the sexual realm. We too often think of this as a past time too "earthy" for God's intervention. But isn't He the one who came up with it? To reject His intent for sex would be to deny the efficacy of His all-encompassing grace. Putting "good sex" on a pedestal in the bedroom is not going to fix the way our modern Christian culture addresses sex, but I think the first step is recognizing that God's purpose should come first: in sex, in marriage, in life.