Because even the shots that don't make it on the Christmas card are still worth sharing... ;)
These were taken on Cormac's 3rd birthday -- a Tuesday, late afternoon after naptime, it was chilly but not too cold, no snow on the ground yet and the light was perfect. I dragged these two outside and forced a photo shoot that gave me just enough good shots to create our Christmas cards. I figured it was easier to shoot two than try to get all four of us in a photo with the remote shutter release like last year's snow shot... but maybe I'll try that again next year. I love looking through the "in between" shots that show their personalities. Cormac was being such a sweet big brother, coaxing Moira to sit with him and holding her gently. All she wanted to do was crawl around and try to eat grass! The star prop didn't end up being in the final shots, but it was a good temporary distraction. Good memories and precious shots of these two blue-eyed babes!
Friday, December 23, 2016
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Why I Listen to Christmas Music Before Thanksgiving
It's one of those things that has come along with the commercialization of the Advent season... the decorations spew forth, the gaudy tunes stream out in every marketplace, the red Starbucks cups appear, and all of the sudden it feels like Christmas. My gut reaction in years past has been to resist. It's too much, too soon! They just want me to buy stuff! And yeah, that's part of it. But that doesn't have to be the bottom line. We know Christmas is about more than just what the stores and marketers make of it. It's about more than shopping and eating and watching those cheesy Hallmark movies on Lifetime (which I love, by the way).
Can you really put a timeframe on that? We live in a nation that has never technically been ruled by monarchy, but just the briefest glance at history shows we're pretty much alone in that. The nations of the world know what it is like to have a king, and history is riddled with celebrations of their births (and just as often, deaths). Even Americans have no trouble understanding the value placed on royal blood. So, when it comes to celebrating the birth of the King of Kings? Who, even before His birth, was destined to spill His blood and give His very life for my salvation? It is so humbling. And so celebration-worthy. It makes me want to celebrate every day of the year.It's about celebrating the birth of our King.
If you can be grateful beyond just Thanksgiving Day, then you can certainly celebrate Christmas beyond December 25th, beyond Advent, beyond Epiphany... straight through Easter and all the way back around again. Every Sunday we are reminded of His birth, death, resurrection, and the new life we have in Him. Christmas is a joyous celebration of that new life. And when I listen to Christmas music, the good kind (because the good ones are all about Him), I am reminded of that new life and my heart rejoices. Even as the leaves are falling, the weather is getting chilly, and nature around us seems to be dying -- life is bursting forth anew. Every day.
So, yes, I'm listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. And probably around Valentine's Day. And the Fourth of July. And my birthday. And whenever I feel like it -- which is pretty much always.
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6
Here are some of my favorites!
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Late Fall/Early Winter 10x10
This post is all about two things I've probably spent way too much time on lately... capsule wardrobes and ThredUp. The concept of a capsule wardrobe is a little bit deceiving. You think that by having fewer clothes you have to think less about what you wear. But really, there's a fair amount of time that goes into concocting new outfits from your existing pieces, Pinteresting for style ideas and even ongoing closet clean-outs and wardrobe adjustments that happen as seasons, styles or fit changes. Theoretically, it's less time than previously spent shopping and figuring out what to wear. But time nonetheless. I guess the good thing is that I enjoy that time spent styling, researching and re-styling my wardrobe. It's relaxing. My life is a variegated amalgamation of creative outlets and this is just one of many. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea and practice of a capsule wardrobe. BUT, it's not always a timesaver. ;)
After reading plenty about the 10x10 challenge, I haven't taken on the challenge myself yet... in practice. I just decided to give it a shot in theory, and use my favorite online shopping tool to give it a whirl! I recently got a cash out from ThredUp and bought a few new pieces to add to my Fall/Winter wardrobe. So, I decided to use those as the base of my virtual 10x10 and then found some more items on ThredUp that were similar to pieces I already own. The result is a capsule wardrobe that I love! 10 pieces (plus accessories) that turned into 12 outfits!
This is the kind of thing that makes me feel like a capsule wardrobe is possible... and preferable. I want to print this out and put it in my closet. I need to remember that just a few pieces have many possibilities, especially when paired with different shoes and accessories. I'm also kinda thinking I need to capitalize on my ridiculously bad habit of trolling ThredUp and Photoshopping outfit boards while watching TV at night. There are so many better things I could be doing with my time... :| But hey, if you need something like this, let me know! I charge by the hour. ;)
After reading plenty about the 10x10 challenge, I haven't taken on the challenge myself yet... in practice. I just decided to give it a shot in theory, and use my favorite online shopping tool to give it a whirl! I recently got a cash out from ThredUp and bought a few new pieces to add to my Fall/Winter wardrobe. So, I decided to use those as the base of my virtual 10x10 and then found some more items on ThredUp that were similar to pieces I already own. The result is a capsule wardrobe that I love! 10 pieces (plus accessories) that turned into 12 outfits!
This is the kind of thing that makes me feel like a capsule wardrobe is possible... and preferable. I want to print this out and put it in my closet. I need to remember that just a few pieces have many possibilities, especially when paired with different shoes and accessories. I'm also kinda thinking I need to capitalize on my ridiculously bad habit of trolling ThredUp and Photoshopping outfit boards while watching TV at night. There are so many better things I could be doing with my time... :| But hey, if you need something like this, let me know! I charge by the hour. ;)
The Pieces
- *Navy Pullover Sweater (Gap via ThredUp)
- *Striped Tee (LLBean via ThredUp)
- *Teal Patterned Blouse (Gap via ThredUp)
- Ivory Open Cardigan (ThredUp)
- Collared Button-Down Sleeveless Blouse (ThredUp)
- Dark Wash Bootcut Jeans (ThredUp)
- Burgundy Skinny Cords (ThredUp)
- *Fit & Flare Skirt (Forever 21 via Thred Up)
- Pointy Toe Wedges (Payless)
- Ankle Boots (Payless)
- Knotted O-Ring Black Belt (Charming Charlie's)
- Burgundy Statement Necklace (Charlotte Russe)
- Burgundy Knit Infinity Scarf (Old Navy)
*Items I bought from ThredUp with my cash out balance from a recent closet clean-out. The other items are all from ThredUp, but pretty much the same as what I already own.
The Outfits That I'm Loving!
The combo of navy, burgundy and teal is really up my alley right now. It feels seasonally appropriate, but not too dark, especially when paired with the ivory/cream cardigan. Obviously, all of these outfits are layered with a camisole underneath, and probably a layer of outerwear when heading into the colder temps. But for staying indoors (which I do most days) these are the perfect level of layering.
I especially love that 3 out of the 4 tops could easily transition into another season. They are lighter weight with neutral patterns that could pair with a skirt or shorts for warmer weather. I really like how the collared sleeveless blouse works with the pullover sweater, adding a pop of pattern to a color-blocked outfit.
What Are You Planning For Your Winter Wardrobe?
Saturday, September 10, 2016
Fall 2016 Capsule Wardrobe
My last capsule wardrobe was during the 4-6 final weeks of my pregnancy with Moira when it was pretty easy to limit my clothing choices to the smaller number of items that still fit. That was actually, technically my first capsule wardrobe. I've been intrigued by the concept for a long time -- pinning and researching other people's wardrobes, but never quite ready to commit. I was never ready to follow all "the rules" required by a minimalist/capsule wardrobe. Like 25 pieces ONLY, or a set palette of black, white, and gray (example only). I don't wear ALL the colors of the rainbow, but I love a good splash of color or fun pattern that may not match with everything else in my wardrobe. And sometimes you realize that a piece you thought you loved, really doesn't work!
I finally stumbled across the blog of Amy Allen Clark (who happens to actually live in my area and I recently started reading her book The Good Life for Less!). Amy's post on a capsule wardrobe outlines a modified version of the Project333 capsule wardrobe and I'm a big fan of the revisions she made. She gives herself a little leeway with the number of items and exceptions for shopping on special occasions, but the true concept of a capsule wardrobe still applies. Below are her stipulations that I'll be following for the next 3 months (September, October, November)!
+/- 33 Piece Wardrobe - The wardrobe can have 33 pieces in it (or more... or less, but not more than 40). This wardrobe does not includepajamas(I'm going to downsize my PJ collection...promise), workout gear, undergarments, or camisoles (something that is a necessity for me), jewelry or shoes (these can make or break an outfit!). The capsule is made from items I already own and all of the items I am not wearing and still love are being tucked in storage for the next fashion capsule. Anything I decide to get rid of will be sent to ThredUp (use this link to get $10!) or Goodwill. I have created a Capsule Wardrobe Outfit Inspiration Pinterest board to help inspire me with the pieces I am using.
Choose 3 More for Rotating - Select three additional items and put them aside in the closet. Rotate these items in during the next three months, but three other items have to be rotated out. Consider donating those items.
No Shoe Shopping - I am not including my shoes for this challenge, but I am challenging myself to not buy any more shoes and use what I already have.
One Steal Per Month - Special occasions and events come up and I am allowing myself one steal per month from items that I already own. I may find I don’t need this, but I think it might help with the shopping bug.
No Shopping For Clothing - I will wear the clothes I have selected and not shop for three months and only shop two weeks prior to the next capsule for items for the next season if needed. This is going to require a lot of discipline for me and I am planning to unsubscribe to shopping newsletters and avoid the shops as much as possible.
I have a couple goals with this capsule wardrobe. I'd like to make getting dressed a little more simple every morning and still feel put together, even if I'm just staying in the house (which, as a work-from-home mom, is more often the case). I also want to curb my spending on clothes, and really just the urge to shop. I don't spend that much (maybe $800 a year?) but I know that these dollars could be put to better use elsewhere. And I don't want to get into the same habit in shopping for my children's clothes. I'll probably be working on capsule wardrobes for the kiddos next, a la Andrea Dekker! I don't think I'll go quite as minimal as this mom but I like the direction of this one, especially with winter coming up!
Even as I was starting to prep for this capsule, all I wanted to do was shop for some new "key pieces"! When, in reality, a better way to start is to sort through what I already own and determine what I really love or, a la KonMari, whatever "sparks joy". So, I've been trying to do that. I won't say I haven't bought anything... because I have. But I'm looking forward wearing to using those pieces in the next few months. And the encouraging part about the Project333 style capsule is that you can still invest in new pieces at the start of each season! A 3-month capsule seems so much more doable, knowing that I will be able to change in/out items as the weather changes. Because my personal preferences change just about as often. But maybe as I'm going through this process again, I'll be able to identify what I really love and what looks best on me.
So, without further ado (drumroll please), here are the pieces for my Fall 2016 Capsule Wardrobe:
So this is 32 pieces total. I haven't completely figured out my 3 pieces to retain in... that may come to me as I really get into creating outfits. What I've discovered already is that I really love pretty/fun/pattern pieces, but they are often harder to style. I had to reduce the number of patterned pieces I included, and try to stick with more solids or simple patterns. I can always add fun patterns or colors with scarfs or jewelry.
I plan on posting more outfit photos as I go, but for now, here's one of my fav new tops styled three different ways.
Blouse + Bootcut Jeans + Ankle Boots
After spying a similar blouse during the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, I fell in love with the color but couldn't commit. I kept an eye out for something similar and found this version at Rue21 (which is weird because I pretty much never shop there... it was a random walk-through) for just $16.99 (not it's on sale for 50% off!). And it's been the perfect addition for my fall wardrobe -- this is an easy outfit for staying at home or running errands. I can pop my leather jacket on top if the weather is chilly. I absolutely love these jeans although, sadly, it doesn't look like Gap makes them anymore. These are all I could find online, and I'm considering purchasing this pair as my "back up". I'll have to wear these for all they're worth! These ankle boots are super comfortable, too!
Blouse + Floral Skirt + Brown Wedge Heels
I've had this skirt for several years and it's been in the back of my closet for a while. I've considered getting rid of it, but every time I tried it on I was reminded of why I like it... even though it's kinda hard to style. But I'm glad I kept it because it goes perfectly with this dusty rose blouse! This outfit would be perfect for church or a client meeting.
Blouse + Olive Pants + Taupe Cardi + Floral Scarf + Snakeskin Flats
Another around-the-house or running errands outfit, with a couple added layers as the weather gets cooler. This scarf was a birthday gift from one of my sisters and I'm loving how well it pairs with my fall wardrobe selections! She knows me well. The snakeskin print flats were a $3.50 from a consignment store. I love a good deal. And a good patterned flat to add some fun to an outfit.
Stay tuned for more styles! :)
Labels:
capsule,
closet,
fall style,
minimalism,
mom stall,
outfits,
Style,
wardrobe
Saturday, September 3, 2016
A Day in the Life...
Inspired by this "Day in the House" series, and as a follow-up to my day in the life post from a couple years ago, I figured it was time for a new post about what life looks like for us in the McCarthy household most days...
6:00am Cormac is in my face asking for "eggs and toast". He is the early riser in our household and he is ready for breakfast right away. Occasionally, he will crawl into bed with me, Patrick and Moira (who joined us around 4am for an early morning nursing session), making us a rather reluctant but cozy co-sleeping bunch.
6:30am We're up and downstairs, I plop Moira (7mos) into the high chair with a few finger snacks, while Cormac (2.5 yrs) joins me in his special corner counter seat while I prepare his daily breakfast of choice: eggs and toast. Oh, I should probably let the dog out... (Flynn, 2.5 yr-old pitbull; yes, we got a puppy when Cormac was 4 months old)
6:45am Cormac seated with his breakfast, Moira distracted with a sippy cup of water which she still can't quite grasp, but enjoys gnawing on, I turn on the kettle to fix my giant mug of coffee. The coffeemaker and Keurig sit un-used on the counter... I prefer a single-cup filter method at the moment. Gotta let that darn dog in and feed her something, too.
7:00am Breakfast done, wipe up the grubby faces and hands, send Cormac to use the potty (we're at the tail end of potty-training), change Moira's diaper and get her dressed.
Our schedule after breakfast depends on the day of the week. Mondays are for errands, groceries, housework; Cormac goes to half-day preschool on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays; Friday is reserved for playdates, Bible study, or special activities outside the house. So, let's do a Thursday... :)
7:30am Pack Cormac's lunch and wrangle him upstairs to get dressed (or bring clothes downstairs to the family room where he's playing with his toy kitchen... whichever seems more efficient at the moment).
7:45am Decide whether it's worthwhile to turn on the cartoon Cormac is begging for (PJ Masks on Disney Jr) or distract him with other activities for another half hour...
8:15am Dad is downstairs and ready to get going. He helps keep my morning sane by dropping off Cormac at preschool before he heads to work. We strap Cormac into his carseat (sometimes it's a two-person job) and they head off. Oh yeah, he brings the dog to work with him, too. Hooray for dog-friendly workplaces.
8:45am Moira is ready for her first nap, so we head up to her room and rock for a few moments before I lay her down in the crib and I attempt to get dressed. Usually after the morning madness, she's pretty ready to nap. Occasionally, she needs some convincing and I go between my bedroom and hers (right next door), soothing her for a few moments between decided on what to wear (working on my Fall Capsule Wardrobe), how to do my hair, and whether today is a day to put on make-up (depends on whether I have a client meeting or just feel like it).
9:00am Moira is asleep (hopefully) and I sit down to my computer to get some work done. I work from home as a freelance graphic/web designer and I am thrilled to be able to get creative pretty much every day. I get to design logos, websites, print materials, and a wide range of other things for small businesses, nonprofits and a few corporate clients. It's a dream job and I'm so blessed to have it.
9:15am After reviewing my e-mail and calendar for the day, I get down to businesses. I've recently engaged the services of a virtual assistant to help me stay organized. She is amazing at reviewing my inbox, assessing my work load, and scheduling projects into my work calendar. This helps me avoid project paralysis (so much to do you don't know where to start). I work anywhere from 18-25 hours per work, and try to fit it in primarily during preschool hours and nap times. Occasionally, I get up early or stay up late to finish a project, but (as you can imagine) it's pretty much impossible to get any real work done with two live children to care for. ;)
11:00am Moira is awake and crowing (not unhappily) in her crib. I head upstairs to feed her -- she is nursing about 6x a day and these quiet moments are usually a welcome break in our busy routine. She is a fast eater (usually done in 6-8 minutes) and I bring her downstairs to crawl around in my office while I wrap up whatever I was working on.
12:10pm We leave the house to pick up Cormac (his preschool is 5 minutes away, big win). Wait, did I eat breakfast? Sometimes not... usually I snag a banana or yogurt somewhere around 9:30am, or heat up dinner leftovers around 11:30am... and sometimes I just forget or work straight through.
12:30pm Cormac eats lunch at preschool, so after picking him up I take the opportunity to run a few quick errands with both kiddos strapped in the car (in an attempt to get them to fall asleep). Usually this involves a run to the bank or post office.
1:00pm Home again, home again, jiggity jig. If I'm lucky, one or both of the children are asleep. Cormac usually transitions to his bed pretty well, while Moira may need a little more convincing. If Cormac is awake, I put him in his bedroom to play quietly. Even if he doesn't go to sleep, "quiet time" is necessary. And usually he does fall asleep after a little while.
1:30pm Moira is asleep in her crib (or in her carseat on the dryer... whichever works) and Cormac is in his room talking to his stuffed animals (love hearing these conversations from my office). I sit down to my computer again to get some more work done. I try to arrange my projects into 1-hour work blocks, but more often than not I end up jumping from one task to the next as the ideas flow and I hop from one program or internet browser to the next. If you were to watch my work process, you might be a little confused... things don't necessarily happen in progression. An urgent e-mail might throw off my entire workflow as I switch to a new task. My favorite projects are full-on brand platform creation: starting with logo design, website design/development, ID kit/collateral design and anything else to get a business launched. But a typical day could include anything from flyer design or e-mail design (MailChimp is my fav e-mail platform) to the minutia of website updates for a local nonprofit.
3:30pm Nap/Quiet Time is over (Cormac is calling to me from the top of the stairs) and I head up for a big post-nap hug. He is very cuddly after waking up. Moira doesn't stay asleep for long when Cormac is up and making noise... she's attuned to his voice! She loves to crawl around after him and do whatever he's doing.
4:00pm The weather is nice, so I encourage Cormac to play outside with his water table or toy trucks (he likes to push them around in the dirt and generally make a mess). If I have a quick project to wrap up, I'll bring my laptop outside and sit in the grass with Moira, but I generally don't get much done, so more often than not I'll bring a book or some toys to occupy Moira and run around with Cormac.
5:00pm Time to start cooking dinner. I try to cook most weeknights, but I reserve the weekends for take-out (pizza!) or leftovers. This week I've been cooking recipes found in my monthly copy of Real Simple, using ingredients from our weekly CSA basket that is chock full of fruit and veggies. Tonight: Chicken with Blistered Corn and Tomato Salad. We got several ears of corn in our basket, and I substitute the called-for spinach with fresh green beans. Yum!
5:15pm Dad gets home. Happy dance! Everyone is excited to see him. He tags in to play with Cormac and Moira.
6:00pm Dinner time! We sit down at the table to eat together, and I spoon feed Moira a mixture of mashed fruit or veggies and rice cereal while we eat and encourage Cormac to try his veggies. Doesn't always work. But he loves the chicken and asks for seconds.
6:30pm Dinner's over, we try to sit and talk a bit before Cormac begs off to play in his room. I clean up Moira and get dishes into the sink or dishwasher. Patrick heads upstairs to play Cormac's new favorite game: Bert & Ernie in the Tent (involves lots of different voices and hide&seek in a pop-up tent in Cormac's room).
7:00pm Bathtime! We do baths every other night or so and usually put the two kiddos in together, although occasionally Moira first and Cormac second. Moira gets out first and I get her into diaper and pajamas before we sit down for a pre-bedtime nursing and rocking session. She is pretty sleepy and once she starts sucking her thumb, I place her in her crib and quietly shut the door. Sometimes she fusses a bit when she realizes I'm gone, but lately I've just been letting her work it out... she is usually asleep in 5-10 minutes. I sneak into my bedroom to throw on some lounge/pj clothes.
7:30pm Patrick has wrangled Cormac out of the tub and into his night-time pull-ups and pajamas. The three of us sit down on his bed for story time and songs before tucking him in. Patrick cuddles with him for a few moments longer since he's going through a "scared of the dark" phase and every once in a while he will sneak into our bedroom and fall asleep after we've gone downstairs.
8:00pm We both fall into the couch for a moment before I decide whether I want to clean up the kitchen tonight or save it for the morning. Patrick turns on Naked & Afraid or, our recent favorite, Married At First Site. If I need to wrap up a project, I'll pull out my laptop and (half-heartedly) work while watching. Sometimes we chat about the day, or upcoming days, but generally we can enjoy each other's company without conversation. :)
10:00pm If I haven't already fallen asleep on the couch, I take my vitamins, grab a glass of water and head upstairs for my bedtime routine. If I'm still wide awake (e.g. drank something with caffeine after 12pm), I'll stay up reading in bed for a little bit, or watch an episode of Blue Bloods with Patrick before we turn out the lights.
10:30/11:00pm Nighty night. Until 4am when Moira wakes up for some comforting...and the day starts all over again :)
6:00am Cormac is in my face asking for "eggs and toast". He is the early riser in our household and he is ready for breakfast right away. Occasionally, he will crawl into bed with me, Patrick and Moira (who joined us around 4am for an early morning nursing session), making us a rather reluctant but cozy co-sleeping bunch.
6:30am We're up and downstairs, I plop Moira (7mos) into the high chair with a few finger snacks, while Cormac (2.5 yrs) joins me in his special corner counter seat while I prepare his daily breakfast of choice: eggs and toast. Oh, I should probably let the dog out... (Flynn, 2.5 yr-old pitbull; yes, we got a puppy when Cormac was 4 months old)
6:45am Cormac seated with his breakfast, Moira distracted with a sippy cup of water which she still can't quite grasp, but enjoys gnawing on, I turn on the kettle to fix my giant mug of coffee. The coffeemaker and Keurig sit un-used on the counter... I prefer a single-cup filter method at the moment. Gotta let that darn dog in and feed her something, too.
7:00am Breakfast done, wipe up the grubby faces and hands, send Cormac to use the potty (we're at the tail end of potty-training), change Moira's diaper and get her dressed.
Our schedule after breakfast depends on the day of the week. Mondays are for errands, groceries, housework; Cormac goes to half-day preschool on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays; Friday is reserved for playdates, Bible study, or special activities outside the house. So, let's do a Thursday... :)
7:30am Pack Cormac's lunch and wrangle him upstairs to get dressed (or bring clothes downstairs to the family room where he's playing with his toy kitchen... whichever seems more efficient at the moment).
7:45am Decide whether it's worthwhile to turn on the cartoon Cormac is begging for (PJ Masks on Disney Jr) or distract him with other activities for another half hour...
8:15am Dad is downstairs and ready to get going. He helps keep my morning sane by dropping off Cormac at preschool before he heads to work. We strap Cormac into his carseat (sometimes it's a two-person job) and they head off. Oh yeah, he brings the dog to work with him, too. Hooray for dog-friendly workplaces.
8:45am Moira is ready for her first nap, so we head up to her room and rock for a few moments before I lay her down in the crib and I attempt to get dressed. Usually after the morning madness, she's pretty ready to nap. Occasionally, she needs some convincing and I go between my bedroom and hers (right next door), soothing her for a few moments between decided on what to wear (working on my Fall Capsule Wardrobe), how to do my hair, and whether today is a day to put on make-up (depends on whether I have a client meeting or just feel like it).
9:00am Moira is asleep (hopefully) and I sit down to my computer to get some work done. I work from home as a freelance graphic/web designer and I am thrilled to be able to get creative pretty much every day. I get to design logos, websites, print materials, and a wide range of other things for small businesses, nonprofits and a few corporate clients. It's a dream job and I'm so blessed to have it.
9:15am After reviewing my e-mail and calendar for the day, I get down to businesses. I've recently engaged the services of a virtual assistant to help me stay organized. She is amazing at reviewing my inbox, assessing my work load, and scheduling projects into my work calendar. This helps me avoid project paralysis (so much to do you don't know where to start). I work anywhere from 18-25 hours per work, and try to fit it in primarily during preschool hours and nap times. Occasionally, I get up early or stay up late to finish a project, but (as you can imagine) it's pretty much impossible to get any real work done with two live children to care for. ;)
11:00am Moira is awake and crowing (not unhappily) in her crib. I head upstairs to feed her -- she is nursing about 6x a day and these quiet moments are usually a welcome break in our busy routine. She is a fast eater (usually done in 6-8 minutes) and I bring her downstairs to crawl around in my office while I wrap up whatever I was working on.
12:10pm We leave the house to pick up Cormac (his preschool is 5 minutes away, big win). Wait, did I eat breakfast? Sometimes not... usually I snag a banana or yogurt somewhere around 9:30am, or heat up dinner leftovers around 11:30am... and sometimes I just forget or work straight through.
12:30pm Cormac eats lunch at preschool, so after picking him up I take the opportunity to run a few quick errands with both kiddos strapped in the car (in an attempt to get them to fall asleep). Usually this involves a run to the bank or post office.
1:00pm Home again, home again, jiggity jig. If I'm lucky, one or both of the children are asleep. Cormac usually transitions to his bed pretty well, while Moira may need a little more convincing. If Cormac is awake, I put him in his bedroom to play quietly. Even if he doesn't go to sleep, "quiet time" is necessary. And usually he does fall asleep after a little while.
1:30pm Moira is asleep in her crib (or in her carseat on the dryer... whichever works) and Cormac is in his room talking to his stuffed animals (love hearing these conversations from my office). I sit down to my computer again to get some more work done. I try to arrange my projects into 1-hour work blocks, but more often than not I end up jumping from one task to the next as the ideas flow and I hop from one program or internet browser to the next. If you were to watch my work process, you might be a little confused... things don't necessarily happen in progression. An urgent e-mail might throw off my entire workflow as I switch to a new task. My favorite projects are full-on brand platform creation: starting with logo design, website design/development, ID kit/collateral design and anything else to get a business launched. But a typical day could include anything from flyer design or e-mail design (MailChimp is my fav e-mail platform) to the minutia of website updates for a local nonprofit.
3:30pm Nap/Quiet Time is over (Cormac is calling to me from the top of the stairs) and I head up for a big post-nap hug. He is very cuddly after waking up. Moira doesn't stay asleep for long when Cormac is up and making noise... she's attuned to his voice! She loves to crawl around after him and do whatever he's doing.
4:00pm The weather is nice, so I encourage Cormac to play outside with his water table or toy trucks (he likes to push them around in the dirt and generally make a mess). If I have a quick project to wrap up, I'll bring my laptop outside and sit in the grass with Moira, but I generally don't get much done, so more often than not I'll bring a book or some toys to occupy Moira and run around with Cormac.
5:00pm Time to start cooking dinner. I try to cook most weeknights, but I reserve the weekends for take-out (pizza!) or leftovers. This week I've been cooking recipes found in my monthly copy of Real Simple, using ingredients from our weekly CSA basket that is chock full of fruit and veggies. Tonight: Chicken with Blistered Corn and Tomato Salad. We got several ears of corn in our basket, and I substitute the called-for spinach with fresh green beans. Yum!
5:15pm Dad gets home. Happy dance! Everyone is excited to see him. He tags in to play with Cormac and Moira.
6:00pm Dinner time! We sit down at the table to eat together, and I spoon feed Moira a mixture of mashed fruit or veggies and rice cereal while we eat and encourage Cormac to try his veggies. Doesn't always work. But he loves the chicken and asks for seconds.
6:30pm Dinner's over, we try to sit and talk a bit before Cormac begs off to play in his room. I clean up Moira and get dishes into the sink or dishwasher. Patrick heads upstairs to play Cormac's new favorite game: Bert & Ernie in the Tent (involves lots of different voices and hide&seek in a pop-up tent in Cormac's room).
7:00pm Bathtime! We do baths every other night or so and usually put the two kiddos in together, although occasionally Moira first and Cormac second. Moira gets out first and I get her into diaper and pajamas before we sit down for a pre-bedtime nursing and rocking session. She is pretty sleepy and once she starts sucking her thumb, I place her in her crib and quietly shut the door. Sometimes she fusses a bit when she realizes I'm gone, but lately I've just been letting her work it out... she is usually asleep in 5-10 minutes. I sneak into my bedroom to throw on some lounge/pj clothes.
7:30pm Patrick has wrangled Cormac out of the tub and into his night-time pull-ups and pajamas. The three of us sit down on his bed for story time and songs before tucking him in. Patrick cuddles with him for a few moments longer since he's going through a "scared of the dark" phase and every once in a while he will sneak into our bedroom and fall asleep after we've gone downstairs.
8:00pm We both fall into the couch for a moment before I decide whether I want to clean up the kitchen tonight or save it for the morning. Patrick turns on Naked & Afraid or, our recent favorite, Married At First Site. If I need to wrap up a project, I'll pull out my laptop and (half-heartedly) work while watching. Sometimes we chat about the day, or upcoming days, but generally we can enjoy each other's company without conversation. :)
10:00pm If I haven't already fallen asleep on the couch, I take my vitamins, grab a glass of water and head upstairs for my bedtime routine. If I'm still wide awake (e.g. drank something with caffeine after 12pm), I'll stay up reading in bed for a little bit, or watch an episode of Blue Bloods with Patrick before we turn out the lights.
10:30/11:00pm Nighty night. Until 4am when Moira wakes up for some comforting...and the day starts all over again :)
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Thursday, July 28, 2016
Two, Too Wonderful
My little Moira is 6 months old today, and I suppose that warrants an update. The last 6 months have been wonderfully busy as we've learned to operate as a family of four. It's funny to think that she was born only 6 months ago -- I feel like I've had two children for much longer. The minute I discovered I was pregnant, I started trying to wrap my mind around the idea that I would be a mother of two. Parenthood is a magical thing, in that it pushes you beyond the limits of self, expanding your heart and mind to accommodate the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of another little soul. It is daunting to approach this task of a lifetime all at once, but God graciously extends and expands His grace to meet our needs as parents day by day.
I feel a little bit like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, or maybe Ebenezer Scrooge (Christmas in July?), in an I-was-never-grouchy-about-motherhood sort of way. But like these classic characters, I didn't know what I was missing. And now I can hardly remember what it was like not having these two sweet, messy, rambunctious, intelligent, hilarious, precious children. I have SO much more to learn about being a mother, (a wife, sister, daughter, friend...the list could go on), but God continues to enlarge my heart and open my eyes to truths previously unknown. Parenthood is a blessing and a burden. A privilege and a responsibility. And I'm so grateful I've been given the opportunity to be mother to two wonderful little ones.
And now, on to more mundane thoughts?
The early months with Moira rushed by. She is a pro at nursing and was sleeping 6 hours at night by 6 weeks (hallelujah!). Cormac was (and still is) a more difficult sleeper, so it has been a pure grace that Moira almost immediately adapted to a routine that gave me enough sleep to feel like a normal human being. First-time motherhood is difficult, there is so much to figure out. Second-time motherhood feels a little more comfortable and, dare I say it, easier. It all depends on the baby, of course, but being a second child myself, I like to think we are generally more chill than firsts. We'll see how that plays out over the next several years... ;)
Overall, adapting to life as a family of four has been pretty smooth. I've been able to adjust my freelance schedule to accommodate a new routine. And I'm also learning more about how to manage expectations and set goals for my work life and personal life. Family always comes first for me, but it can be very easy to get caught up in important projects or high-priority clients. I am so grateful that I've been able to continue designing and doing what I love while also caring for my children and home. At the same time, these years when they're young will fly by (they already are!) and I want to enjoy them and ensure I'm committed to leading them through these precious days. Or is it they who are leading me?
The other amazing thing about parenting? How much it teaches you about yourself. I continue to feel challenged by every new phase of growth (read: current phase of rambunctious and creepily smart 2.5 year old boy!), reminded of my failures, encouraged to serve better, trust more... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
And now for the cute pics to commemorate Moira's half-year birthday! :)
SaveSave
I feel a little bit like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, or maybe Ebenezer Scrooge (Christmas in July?), in an I-was-never-grouchy-about-motherhood sort of way. But like these classic characters, I didn't know what I was missing. And now I can hardly remember what it was like not having these two sweet, messy, rambunctious, intelligent, hilarious, precious children. I have SO much more to learn about being a mother, (a wife, sister, daughter, friend...the list could go on), but God continues to enlarge my heart and open my eyes to truths previously unknown. Parenthood is a blessing and a burden. A privilege and a responsibility. And I'm so grateful I've been given the opportunity to be mother to two wonderful little ones.
And now, on to more mundane thoughts?
The early months with Moira rushed by. She is a pro at nursing and was sleeping 6 hours at night by 6 weeks (hallelujah!). Cormac was (and still is) a more difficult sleeper, so it has been a pure grace that Moira almost immediately adapted to a routine that gave me enough sleep to feel like a normal human being. First-time motherhood is difficult, there is so much to figure out. Second-time motherhood feels a little more comfortable and, dare I say it, easier. It all depends on the baby, of course, but being a second child myself, I like to think we are generally more chill than firsts. We'll see how that plays out over the next several years... ;)
Overall, adapting to life as a family of four has been pretty smooth. I've been able to adjust my freelance schedule to accommodate a new routine. And I'm also learning more about how to manage expectations and set goals for my work life and personal life. Family always comes first for me, but it can be very easy to get caught up in important projects or high-priority clients. I am so grateful that I've been able to continue designing and doing what I love while also caring for my children and home. At the same time, these years when they're young will fly by (they already are!) and I want to enjoy them and ensure I'm committed to leading them through these precious days. Or is it they who are leading me?
The other amazing thing about parenting? How much it teaches you about yourself. I continue to feel challenged by every new phase of growth (read: current phase of rambunctious and creepily smart 2.5 year old boy!), reminded of my failures, encouraged to serve better, trust more... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
And now for the cute pics to commemorate Moira's half-year birthday! :)
SaveSave
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Sunday, March 13, 2016
Magnificat for Moira
Every once in a while, I feel inspired enough to write poetry. It hasn't been much lately (my creative inspiration goes to other worthy outlets), but after Moira was born, I found several lines running through my head. A song from preschool days kept popping into my thoughts (which, as it turns out, is a Disney song! https://youtu.be/V_IrdS-zu48) and the tune was infectious. I couldn't remember any more than the first verse, but it rang so true in those early days after welcoming little Moira. It still does weeks later, of course, but it was that song being stuck in my head that was the seed of this poem. It is a little bit of a creative re-telling of her birth story, as well as an elaboration on the meaning of her name (both posts preceding this one). And it summarizes what I am feeling these days: the Lord is good to me, and I am so grateful.
O, the Lord is good to me —
in night’s dark uncertainty,
the weak, black hours before
the telltale dawn awaking,
with waters breaking, before
the floodgates of heaven are
opened wide to fill the skies
with lights before unknown —
and God’s glory has shown.
So, I thank the Lord —
He makes His glory known,
‘midst barren branches free
of winter’s menaced hold,
guiding broken paths unseen to
fruitful endings, joy abounding.
He gives me all I need —
known and knowing,
well before the deep and yearning
hours of birth began,
these laboring moans
the echoes far of trumpet call
from here below.
The Lord is good to me —
in His palm the preborn plan
destined long before we knew,
groaning with the pangs of change,
the body from one rent asunder,
spirit released from death's dark shadow,
until a new birth is complete.
O, the Lord is good to me —
in night’s dark uncertainty,
the weak, black hours before
the telltale dawn awaking,
with waters breaking, before
the floodgates of heaven are
opened wide to fill the skies
with lights before unknown —
and God’s glory has shown.
So, I thank the Lord —
He makes His glory known,
‘midst barren branches free
of winter’s menaced hold,
guiding broken paths unseen to
fruitful endings, joy abounding.
He gives me all I need —
known and knowing,
well before the deep and yearning
hours of birth began,
these laboring moans
the echoes far of trumpet call
from here below.
The Lord is good to me —
in His palm the preborn plan
destined long before we knew,
groaning with the pangs of change,
the body from one rent asunder,
spirit released from death's dark shadow,
until a new birth is complete.
Moira Kenley
After a few months of coming up with various options, we settled on our top three. Moira was Patrick’s favorite pick from the beginning, but I was not yet convinced — it didn’t have the meaning I was looking for. I wanted something obvious like “blessing of God” or “filled with joy” but, believe it or not, there aren’t actually many names that mean that. A name is such a significant thing to give a person and, years down the road, I want to make sure my children understand that their names were chosen for a reason! Especially considering that God knew their names long before I did.
However, Cormac’s name meaning wasn’t anything particularly special either, until he was born and I began praying over him during those late night nursing sessions and making specific requests for the man he will become. It was then that the meaning of his name became more clear to me. You can read more about that here…
When Moira was born, her name just seemed to fit. Unlike with Cormac, who remained nameless for approximately 24 hours, her big blue eyes and dark brown hair were exactly as I had imagined. And, strangely enough, it wasn’t until she was born that I realized I had been calling her Moira in my head after all.
The name Moira has a few layers of meaning and now that she has been with us for a little over 6 weeks, they are continuing to manifest. Moira is the Irish variation of the name Mary, which means "bitter". Not so encouraging, right? The Greek word “moira” means portion or allotment, most often it is used to refer to the concept of the Fates or Fate, the pagan understanding of destiny. You can see why I wasn’t too thrilled with the meaning to start with. Nevertheless, the name took on a new meaning for me as a translation for the concept of predestination, God’s sovereign plan for our salvation — a means of grace by which He chose His children from before time began and wrote their names in the Book of Life. Destiny and fate may be humanized understandings of this concept, but a follower of the Lord will know immediately that our lot is not left to fate, blind chance or even wishful thinking.
Moira is most certainly part of God’s predestined plan and I take joy in invoking His promise for her sake: “And those whose He predestined he also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified.” (Romans 8:30).
But as I continued to search for more background on Moira’s name, I discovered the one reference to the Greek word “moira” in Scripture is found in Jude 1:16: “These are grubbers, malcontents, following their own sinful desires; they are loud-mouth boasters, showing favoritism to gain advantage.”
The Greek word “mempsimoiros” is used for malcontents — derived from ‘memphomai’ (blame, find fault) and ‘moira’ (an apportioned amount, allotment). Yikes, malcontent is definitely not a trait I want to assign to my child! But this use of the word led me to a search of the Old Testament for more references to the term “portion” or “allotment”. Although not written in Greek, the concept is parallel to many similar words used throughout the Old Testament. One in particular is Psalm 16:5:
“The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup; Thou maintainest my lot.”
I love the richness of the King James translation which uses not only the word ‘portion’ but also ‘inheritance’. What a beautiful thought; to know that, having been predestined by God’s sovereign mercy, our salvation is a gracious inheritance bought by the blood of the King of Kings. For we are “heirs to the promise” (Gal 3:29), and since Christ is the “firstborn of many” (Rom 8:29), we can lay claim to the riches of that inheritance in Him. When I use Moira’s name, this is what I think of: that the Lord has known her from before eternity, that He is her portion, has provided her inheritance, and made provisions for her salvation. And I trust that He will maintain and uphold her all her life, until she sees Him face to face. This is my hope and prayer for her.
This idea of inheritance points directly to Moira’s middle name, as well: Kenley. Although it started out as a mash-up of my father’s name (Kenneth Stanley) because I loved the idea of using a family name, especially to honor my father (who has 4 daughters… and now 1 granddaughter!), I came to discover that Kenley is a given name in its own right. It means “royal meadow” or “meadow of the King”. Psalm 15:6 goes on to say:
“The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”Now that, I could not have predicated. Moira Kenley means “The Lord has provided my portion, and my inheritance is in the King’s meadow.” This brings to mind an idyllic vision of a verdant garden, pleasant and peaceful, a place where one may rest in the knowledge of being cared for. Brings to mind another promise of Scripture that speaks of “a better country—a heavenly one”, a city prepared for the heirs of the King. Another beautiful promise to claim for my child. The mere speaking of her name reminds me of God's gracious provisions not just for her, but for me and our entire family as well.
Suddenly, the twofold meaning of Moira becomes clear. Without God, we are left to a pale and hopeless estimation of our future, Fate is cruel and Destiny ends in tragedy. Apart from God, we are bitter and malcontent, just like the ungodly ones mentioned in Jude. But with Him, and in His grace, we are like Mary (remember that Moira is also the Gaelic version of Mary): imbued with His regenerating and enlightening Spirit, He makes us one with His Son so that we might find salvation in Him. We are not just heirs to the inheritance of salvation, but messengers of the Gospel as well. The double meaning of Moira’s name is a promise and a hope: though we are but human, weak and powerless, the Lord is mighty to save. He turns our weeping to laughter, and our bitterness to songs of praise. When He calls His children by name, they follow Him (John 10:3).
I could not have planned it better if I had intended to. But, then again, God is the one making the plans and, when it comes to Moira’s name, that couldn’t be more obvious. :)
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Thursday, February 25, 2016
Moira's Birth Story
Moira is 4 weeks old today! What a surprise that she decided to make an appearance over two weeks early, although I guess I can say now that it's a trend, considering Cormac was early as well. I am so thankful to say that my second labor/delivery experience was equally as smooth and awe-inspiring as my first. Even, dare I say it, enjoyable. For more details, read on...
This post does contain a few graphic images and details that may not be everyone's preference. If you're not into reading birth stories, STOP NOW! And don't say I didn't warn you.
The dog woke me up at 1am on Thursday morning, January 28. She was barking at nothing again. Or probably something (like a squirrel or a moving tree branch), but this was still somewhat unusual for her in the dead of night. Perhaps she knew something big was about to happen... I must have fallen back asleep, but I awoke again at 1:30 to hear Cormac shuffling into our bedroom. He's been in his "big boy bed" since November, but he still occasionally makes his way to our room at some point during the night or early morning (usually closer to 5:30am). I pulled him into bed with me and closed my eyes, feeling too sluggish to walk him back to his own bed. I fell back asleep, but not for long.
I shot awake again as I felt the rush of fluid. I thought I might be dreaming, but the sensation was all too familiar... I just couldn't believe it was happening so soon. I thought I had at least another week! My mother wasn't supposed to arrive until next Thursday! Is this really happening? Cormac whimpered next to me as I sat up in bed and tried to decide what to do. The clock said 2:03am. I made it to the toilet before the next gush -- my water had definitely broken. The rush of adrenaline hit and I sat for a moment trying not to giggle at the irony of the situation. We'd had dinner with my in-laws the night before (pizza, yum!) and my mother-in-law had said something about how low I was carrying. I joked throughout dinner that this baby wasn't coming any time soon... little did I know! I'd seen the midwife that morning as well, with no signs of the onset of labor (I was only 37 weeks after all) although my fundal measurement had gone down to 35". That should have been a clue. Either way, man makes his plans... and God shows His sense of humor in moments like this.
I stepped back into the bedroom and whispered to Patrick, "Don't freak out...my water just broke."
For Christmas, I had bought him tickets to see one of his favorite bands play in Detroit the following evening and I was already thanking God that the show was not until tomorrow. Given my previous experience, this baby would be born today and Patrick would still be able to see his show. Yes, that is literally what I was thinking. And I told him so in no uncertain terms. "You are going to see that concert!"
These things being decided, I crawled back into bed to start the waiting game. I was not yet feeling any contractions and didn't want to alert the midwife or anyone else until I was sure something was happening. Of course, sleep was the last thing on my mind at that point, but I knew I should try to rest. Cormac was still in bed with us but not quite awake. I snuggled him close to me and shut my eyes, but sleep was elusive (as one might imagine). I was worried that maybe contractions wouldn't start at all, or that things wouldn't progress as they should... it just seemed too soon for this to be happening! But about half an hour later, the mild contractions began. So mild they were not even worth tracking, and by that point I was too excited to sleep. So, of course, I called my mother. It was about 3am.
I was a little nervous about having to tell her that I had gone into labor early... again. With Cormac, she was supposed to arrive on a Saturday. I went into labor on a Thursday night and he was born 7 hours later. This time, I was going into labor a whole week in advance of her planned arrival date, and 17 days before my due date! We just can't seem to get the timing right with this stuff. Maybe with the next one... ;) She answered after a few rings (even at 3 in the morning!) but didn't sound too surprised. I hung up hoping that she would be able to make it up to Indiana by the next day.
I finally called the midwife as well. Or rather, the hospital to page the midwife. When I got the call back, it was a midwife I had only seen once before and I was a little worried that I would be delivering with someone I didn't know that well. But decided to just wait and see what happened. The contractions continued, still mild and easy enough to walk/talk through. Patrick was awake at this point and starting to get things ready that we hadn't finished yet: getting the infant car seat installed, packing up our bags for the birth center and throwing last-minute things in the car (we thought we would have time for this!). While he got things ready downstairs, I did what one would expect all laboring mothers to do: painted my toenails. I had distinct memories of looking down at my feet while giving birth to Cormac and apologizing to the midwife for the sorry state of my pedicure. That was not going to happen this time! I painted a quick layer of magenta on both feet (legs hoisted onto the bathroom vanity counter). From afar, they looked ok. Good enough for me. And perhaps this was a good stance for getting the baby's head into the right position? Who knows.
Cormac was starting to wake up a little more, and around 5am we called Patrick's parents to let them know what was going on. They showed up 10 minutes later. I was still at a point where contractions were not too difficult, so I made coffee for my father-in-law and we all sat in the family room watching the news and keeping Cormac entertained. The plan was to send him to preschool as usual and keep the routine as normal as possible. We didn't know when the baby would arrive, so it made sense to just keep him on schedule. I hadn't expected such a crowd during labor this time around, but it really wasn't so bad and it was nice to have extra hands to keep Cormac occupied. To keep myself busy and distracted, I decided to work on a design proposal that was due the next day. I had been able to get some work done on it the previous evening while Patrick took Cormac for an hour, so this was, of course, the ideal time to finish things up. I sat in front of my computer, leaning forward with contractions and trying to focus on the screen. I was half-heartedly timing contractions and not seeing any real pattern in length or time apart. But this is how it was with Cormac...
Around 6am, I still wasn't feeling much progress, so I decided to try to go back to sleep. I brought Cormac with me (I didn't want him to be exhausted for school), and we both somehow managed to fall asleep for another hour or so. Patrick came in a bit later to check on me and get Cormac ready for school. I don't remember when, but at some point he went to pick up Gatorade. I remember being really thirsty, but also having to use the bathroom often. Must have been the baby was positioned directly on my bladder.
I called the hospital again around 8am and was relieved to find that shifts had changed and the new midwife on call was the one I had seen the most during my prenatal care. I felt most comfortable with her and was very happy to know that she would most likely be the one delivering the baby. The same situation had happened with Cormac (although he was born just as that midwife's shift was ending!), and I'm so thankful that God was looking out for me during both deliveries. Even though my mother wasn't able to be there, at least I was with other women I felt comfortable with! I told her I still wasn't feeling a lot of intensity in the contractions so she told me to just stick home and see how things progressed. I was really starting to get nervous that this was going to be a much longer labor than my first, so I tried to just relax and keep myself occupied with easy activities. Like folding laundry -- perfect for a laboring mom! By this time my in-laws had left to take Cormac to preschool and Patrick decided to pop out and pick up some breakfast. He returned with McDonald's breakfast sandwiches while I was folding the laundry and breathing through contractions. At one point I remember getting down on my hands and knees to see if a different position would affect the intensity -- it did. The contraction I felt in that position was more painful and a little longer than the previous ones, and I was grateful because it finally was starting to feel like something was happening.
I ate about half of my McDonald's Egg White Delite (yum!) before deciding it was time to head to the birth center. One of my primary concerns with this delivery was decided when to head to the birth center. We had just barely arrived at the hospital in time with Cormac (I was already at 10 cm dilated and +2 station!) and I didn't want to repeat that situation this time around, especially considering it was a longer drive. So we got in the car, figuring we would still have a few hours of laboring to go. The drive was about 20 minutes long, and I only had 3 contractions, not quite 45 seconds each, and then another one after we had arrived at the birth center and pulled into the garage. I distinctly remember walking back and forth next to the car in that chilly garage waiting for the contraction to end. Not until then was I ready to walk inside (after opening the wrong door first -- it opened to the exterior, oops).
Another baby had just been born at the center and there were only 2 other rooms -- one of which was undergoing some renovations. So we got the last room available! Good thing there wasn't another baby being born... We got into the "Victorian" room (haha, would have been my last choice if given an option) and I tried to make myself comfortable. NOT on the bed. My method of dealing with contractions is to pace back and forth and breath deeply. So while the midwife got us checked in and took some notes, I walked and breathed through contractions. She didn't want to check me quite yet (they try to do so as little as possible after the water has broken) but did have to take my temp, blood pressure and try to listen to the baby's heart beat with a fetal monitor. I remember feeling a little annoyed about trying to stand still (or rather, rocking in place) while she listened before, during and after a contraction. I was still laughing and talking between contractions, so she was still thinking we might have a while to go. She left the room to check on the other family and we waited through another couple contractions.
When she came back (I'm not sure how much later, the timing got a little hazy at this point... all I know is that we arrived at the birth center a little after 9am), I was probably making a little more noise with contractions so she decided it was time for a check. Lying down on the bed and enduring a contraction in that position was miserable. I don't know why anyone wants to be in a bed during labor! But the results were good: 7cm, 100% effaced, 0 station. Things were moving along. And the contractions seemed to changed after that point. Shortly after standing up again, I went to the bathroom and had my "bloody show", laughing and apologizing at making a mess on the bathroom floor. Funny how these things are totally normal and acceptable during labor, even laughable. But also a good sign that things were moving along.
It seemed like all of the sudden my contractions got much more intense and I started feeling the urge to push. Things started happening very quickly and I remember feeling the same sensation before Cormac was born -- this is probably the point when my vocalizations became much more... pronounced, shall we say? Up to this point, I don't think I was making much noise during contractions. But pushing simply seems to require some sort of noise, kinda like when those female tennis players hit the ball. They probably don't even realize they're making such an unattractive sound, but it really must help with the physical action of hitting the ball. Same with pushing through contractions during labor.
At this point, I realized we probably should have asked them to fill up the birthing tub as soon as we got there. I was still in the bathroom so I asked them to start the water. I don't think at this point anyone realized how quickly things were moving (even me). I stood by the side of the tub as the water filled up, rocking and groaning through contractions. And pushing. I remember worrying they were going to tell me to stop pushing (like they did with Cormac), but nobody said anything so I just kept it up. Finally, the tub was full and the water hot enough for me to get in. I climbed in without any assistance (I was ready to be in there!) and immediately got on all fours. The midwife started staying something about turning around to the other direction (there was a headrest/pillow on the other side of the tub), but I was already pushing through another contraction. I think she finally realized that baby was about to make an appearance. After the first push in the water, I reached down and felt the baby's head. I panicked. This was happening really fast! With Cormac, I'd had to push for about half an hour before he was crowning. This time, I could tell the baby was about to come out and I freaked out! I distinctly remember saying "Help me!". At some point in the previous moments, I had asked Patrick to snap photos and I'm so glad I had the presence of mind to do so. The photos included at the end of the post are from the ones he took on my iPhone starting mere seconds after I got in the tub, right up to several minutes after she was born. We were able to verify the second she came out through his photos -- 10:12am!
After the second push, the baby's head was out and I really panicked. The midwife and birth assistant were leaning over the side of the tub, but in my hands-and-knees position they weren't able to do as much and I wasn't quite sure what to do next... I could feel the baby's head between my hands and had to valiantly resist the urge to just yank it out. Finally the next contraction hit and with one final push she was out (whew!). I grasped her by the shoulders and pulled her up to my chest. What a relief, a surprise, a joy. She was here! The umbilical cord was loosely looped around her neck and the midwife was having a time trying to unloop it while I tried to lean back against the edge of the tub. This is the part of delivery where the adrenaline starts to recede and oxytocin hits and I was in a hazy phase of weepy excitement to see our daughter, finally be holding her in my arms, and relief that the hard part was over. Mostly. You always forget about the second half which involves delivering the placenta. Thankfully, it wasn't too difficult and before we knew it, it was time to cut her cord. We were still just chilling in the bathtub and Patrick was sitting in the corner snapping photos with little interest in getting any closer at that point (he was a trooper!) so I did the honors myself.
She latched on almost immediately thereafter and sucked voraciously for a good half hour, if not longer, before we finally got out of the tub to take her vitals and get cleaned up. And stitched up. My least favorite part of labor/delivery. Even after all the pain of contractions, pushing, etc., getting stitched is still difficult for me. Even numbed! Something about the thought of a needle going through the skin makes me rather uncomfortable. I could never be a doctor. But that part was finally over as well and we got to sit (in the bed! haha) and enjoy getting to know our daughter. And figure out what to call her. :)
So here's the photos and my next post will be about her name!
This post does contain a few graphic images and details that may not be everyone's preference. If you're not into reading birth stories, STOP NOW! And don't say I didn't warn you.
The dog woke me up at 1am on Thursday morning, January 28. She was barking at nothing again. Or probably something (like a squirrel or a moving tree branch), but this was still somewhat unusual for her in the dead of night. Perhaps she knew something big was about to happen... I must have fallen back asleep, but I awoke again at 1:30 to hear Cormac shuffling into our bedroom. He's been in his "big boy bed" since November, but he still occasionally makes his way to our room at some point during the night or early morning (usually closer to 5:30am). I pulled him into bed with me and closed my eyes, feeling too sluggish to walk him back to his own bed. I fell back asleep, but not for long.
I shot awake again as I felt the rush of fluid. I thought I might be dreaming, but the sensation was all too familiar... I just couldn't believe it was happening so soon. I thought I had at least another week! My mother wasn't supposed to arrive until next Thursday! Is this really happening? Cormac whimpered next to me as I sat up in bed and tried to decide what to do. The clock said 2:03am. I made it to the toilet before the next gush -- my water had definitely broken. The rush of adrenaline hit and I sat for a moment trying not to giggle at the irony of the situation. We'd had dinner with my in-laws the night before (pizza, yum!) and my mother-in-law had said something about how low I was carrying. I joked throughout dinner that this baby wasn't coming any time soon... little did I know! I'd seen the midwife that morning as well, with no signs of the onset of labor (I was only 37 weeks after all) although my fundal measurement had gone down to 35". That should have been a clue. Either way, man makes his plans... and God shows His sense of humor in moments like this.
I stepped back into the bedroom and whispered to Patrick, "Don't freak out...my water just broke."
For Christmas, I had bought him tickets to see one of his favorite bands play in Detroit the following evening and I was already thanking God that the show was not until tomorrow. Given my previous experience, this baby would be born today and Patrick would still be able to see his show. Yes, that is literally what I was thinking. And I told him so in no uncertain terms. "You are going to see that concert!"
These things being decided, I crawled back into bed to start the waiting game. I was not yet feeling any contractions and didn't want to alert the midwife or anyone else until I was sure something was happening. Of course, sleep was the last thing on my mind at that point, but I knew I should try to rest. Cormac was still in bed with us but not quite awake. I snuggled him close to me and shut my eyes, but sleep was elusive (as one might imagine). I was worried that maybe contractions wouldn't start at all, or that things wouldn't progress as they should... it just seemed too soon for this to be happening! But about half an hour later, the mild contractions began. So mild they were not even worth tracking, and by that point I was too excited to sleep. So, of course, I called my mother. It was about 3am.
I was a little nervous about having to tell her that I had gone into labor early... again. With Cormac, she was supposed to arrive on a Saturday. I went into labor on a Thursday night and he was born 7 hours later. This time, I was going into labor a whole week in advance of her planned arrival date, and 17 days before my due date! We just can't seem to get the timing right with this stuff. Maybe with the next one... ;) She answered after a few rings (even at 3 in the morning!) but didn't sound too surprised. I hung up hoping that she would be able to make it up to Indiana by the next day.
I finally called the midwife as well. Or rather, the hospital to page the midwife. When I got the call back, it was a midwife I had only seen once before and I was a little worried that I would be delivering with someone I didn't know that well. But decided to just wait and see what happened. The contractions continued, still mild and easy enough to walk/talk through. Patrick was awake at this point and starting to get things ready that we hadn't finished yet: getting the infant car seat installed, packing up our bags for the birth center and throwing last-minute things in the car (we thought we would have time for this!). While he got things ready downstairs, I did what one would expect all laboring mothers to do: painted my toenails. I had distinct memories of looking down at my feet while giving birth to Cormac and apologizing to the midwife for the sorry state of my pedicure. That was not going to happen this time! I painted a quick layer of magenta on both feet (legs hoisted onto the bathroom vanity counter). From afar, they looked ok. Good enough for me. And perhaps this was a good stance for getting the baby's head into the right position? Who knows.
Cormac was starting to wake up a little more, and around 5am we called Patrick's parents to let them know what was going on. They showed up 10 minutes later. I was still at a point where contractions were not too difficult, so I made coffee for my father-in-law and we all sat in the family room watching the news and keeping Cormac entertained. The plan was to send him to preschool as usual and keep the routine as normal as possible. We didn't know when the baby would arrive, so it made sense to just keep him on schedule. I hadn't expected such a crowd during labor this time around, but it really wasn't so bad and it was nice to have extra hands to keep Cormac occupied. To keep myself busy and distracted, I decided to work on a design proposal that was due the next day. I had been able to get some work done on it the previous evening while Patrick took Cormac for an hour, so this was, of course, the ideal time to finish things up. I sat in front of my computer, leaning forward with contractions and trying to focus on the screen. I was half-heartedly timing contractions and not seeing any real pattern in length or time apart. But this is how it was with Cormac...
Around 6am, I still wasn't feeling much progress, so I decided to try to go back to sleep. I brought Cormac with me (I didn't want him to be exhausted for school), and we both somehow managed to fall asleep for another hour or so. Patrick came in a bit later to check on me and get Cormac ready for school. I don't remember when, but at some point he went to pick up Gatorade. I remember being really thirsty, but also having to use the bathroom often. Must have been the baby was positioned directly on my bladder.
I called the hospital again around 8am and was relieved to find that shifts had changed and the new midwife on call was the one I had seen the most during my prenatal care. I felt most comfortable with her and was very happy to know that she would most likely be the one delivering the baby. The same situation had happened with Cormac (although he was born just as that midwife's shift was ending!), and I'm so thankful that God was looking out for me during both deliveries. Even though my mother wasn't able to be there, at least I was with other women I felt comfortable with! I told her I still wasn't feeling a lot of intensity in the contractions so she told me to just stick home and see how things progressed. I was really starting to get nervous that this was going to be a much longer labor than my first, so I tried to just relax and keep myself occupied with easy activities. Like folding laundry -- perfect for a laboring mom! By this time my in-laws had left to take Cormac to preschool and Patrick decided to pop out and pick up some breakfast. He returned with McDonald's breakfast sandwiches while I was folding the laundry and breathing through contractions. At one point I remember getting down on my hands and knees to see if a different position would affect the intensity -- it did. The contraction I felt in that position was more painful and a little longer than the previous ones, and I was grateful because it finally was starting to feel like something was happening.
I ate about half of my McDonald's Egg White Delite (yum!) before deciding it was time to head to the birth center. One of my primary concerns with this delivery was decided when to head to the birth center. We had just barely arrived at the hospital in time with Cormac (I was already at 10 cm dilated and +2 station!) and I didn't want to repeat that situation this time around, especially considering it was a longer drive. So we got in the car, figuring we would still have a few hours of laboring to go. The drive was about 20 minutes long, and I only had 3 contractions, not quite 45 seconds each, and then another one after we had arrived at the birth center and pulled into the garage. I distinctly remember walking back and forth next to the car in that chilly garage waiting for the contraction to end. Not until then was I ready to walk inside (after opening the wrong door first -- it opened to the exterior, oops).
Another baby had just been born at the center and there were only 2 other rooms -- one of which was undergoing some renovations. So we got the last room available! Good thing there wasn't another baby being born... We got into the "Victorian" room (haha, would have been my last choice if given an option) and I tried to make myself comfortable. NOT on the bed. My method of dealing with contractions is to pace back and forth and breath deeply. So while the midwife got us checked in and took some notes, I walked and breathed through contractions. She didn't want to check me quite yet (they try to do so as little as possible after the water has broken) but did have to take my temp, blood pressure and try to listen to the baby's heart beat with a fetal monitor. I remember feeling a little annoyed about trying to stand still (or rather, rocking in place) while she listened before, during and after a contraction. I was still laughing and talking between contractions, so she was still thinking we might have a while to go. She left the room to check on the other family and we waited through another couple contractions.
When she came back (I'm not sure how much later, the timing got a little hazy at this point... all I know is that we arrived at the birth center a little after 9am), I was probably making a little more noise with contractions so she decided it was time for a check. Lying down on the bed and enduring a contraction in that position was miserable. I don't know why anyone wants to be in a bed during labor! But the results were good: 7cm, 100% effaced, 0 station. Things were moving along. And the contractions seemed to changed after that point. Shortly after standing up again, I went to the bathroom and had my "bloody show", laughing and apologizing at making a mess on the bathroom floor. Funny how these things are totally normal and acceptable during labor, even laughable. But also a good sign that things were moving along.
It seemed like all of the sudden my contractions got much more intense and I started feeling the urge to push. Things started happening very quickly and I remember feeling the same sensation before Cormac was born -- this is probably the point when my vocalizations became much more... pronounced, shall we say? Up to this point, I don't think I was making much noise during contractions. But pushing simply seems to require some sort of noise, kinda like when those female tennis players hit the ball. They probably don't even realize they're making such an unattractive sound, but it really must help with the physical action of hitting the ball. Same with pushing through contractions during labor.
At this point, I realized we probably should have asked them to fill up the birthing tub as soon as we got there. I was still in the bathroom so I asked them to start the water. I don't think at this point anyone realized how quickly things were moving (even me). I stood by the side of the tub as the water filled up, rocking and groaning through contractions. And pushing. I remember worrying they were going to tell me to stop pushing (like they did with Cormac), but nobody said anything so I just kept it up. Finally, the tub was full and the water hot enough for me to get in. I climbed in without any assistance (I was ready to be in there!) and immediately got on all fours. The midwife started staying something about turning around to the other direction (there was a headrest/pillow on the other side of the tub), but I was already pushing through another contraction. I think she finally realized that baby was about to make an appearance. After the first push in the water, I reached down and felt the baby's head. I panicked. This was happening really fast! With Cormac, I'd had to push for about half an hour before he was crowning. This time, I could tell the baby was about to come out and I freaked out! I distinctly remember saying "Help me!". At some point in the previous moments, I had asked Patrick to snap photos and I'm so glad I had the presence of mind to do so. The photos included at the end of the post are from the ones he took on my iPhone starting mere seconds after I got in the tub, right up to several minutes after she was born. We were able to verify the second she came out through his photos -- 10:12am!
After the second push, the baby's head was out and I really panicked. The midwife and birth assistant were leaning over the side of the tub, but in my hands-and-knees position they weren't able to do as much and I wasn't quite sure what to do next... I could feel the baby's head between my hands and had to valiantly resist the urge to just yank it out. Finally the next contraction hit and with one final push she was out (whew!). I grasped her by the shoulders and pulled her up to my chest. What a relief, a surprise, a joy. She was here! The umbilical cord was loosely looped around her neck and the midwife was having a time trying to unloop it while I tried to lean back against the edge of the tub. This is the part of delivery where the adrenaline starts to recede and oxytocin hits and I was in a hazy phase of weepy excitement to see our daughter, finally be holding her in my arms, and relief that the hard part was over. Mostly. You always forget about the second half which involves delivering the placenta. Thankfully, it wasn't too difficult and before we knew it, it was time to cut her cord. We were still just chilling in the bathtub and Patrick was sitting in the corner snapping photos with little interest in getting any closer at that point (he was a trooper!) so I did the honors myself.
She latched on almost immediately thereafter and sucked voraciously for a good half hour, if not longer, before we finally got out of the tub to take her vitals and get cleaned up. And stitched up. My least favorite part of labor/delivery. Even after all the pain of contractions, pushing, etc., getting stitched is still difficult for me. Even numbed! Something about the thought of a needle going through the skin makes me rather uncomfortable. I could never be a doctor. But that part was finally over as well and we got to sit (in the bed! haha) and enjoy getting to know our daughter. And figure out what to call her. :)
So here's the photos and my next post will be about her name!
She's crowning... "Help me!" |
Last push... I got her! |
They're reaching for that cord around her neck. I'm still in shock that she's OUT. |
The midwife is laughing at how fast she came! |
Putting on a cap and washcloth to keep her warm... I'm overwhelmed. |
Cutting the umbilical cord |
Hi, baby girl! |
Spending some time with dad |
Labels:
Baby,
birth announcement,
birth story,
delivery,
labor,
Moira,
Motherhood,
parenting
Monday, February 1, 2016
Introducing...
So excited and still a little surprised to introduce our little early bird, born 2 weeks ahead of schedule! She is a pretty happy little lady so far, a good eater and sleeper, and we are feeling very blessed.
Moira Kenley McCarthy
Arrived Thursday, January 28, 2016, 10:12am
Weighing 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" long
More details to come on the birth story and her name meaning!
Labels:
Baby Girl,
birth announcement,
Moira,
Motherhood
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Maternity Capsule Wardrobe: Week 3
I decided to do this capsule wardrobe thing for a couple reasons... but primarily just to see if I could do it. I have always enjoyed the process of shopping and styling my outfits, although I've certainly been through phases of the closet blahs, where I just wasn't really finding a groove with my look. I like to think that after about 15 years of shopping for myself, I've finally found the styles and fits that work for my body type and personality. However, pregnancy throws a bit of a curve ball into that mix. Having gone through one pregnancy before, I had a bit of an idea of what to expect as far as how my size and fit would change over 9 months. Choosing the last 3-4 weeks of pregnancy to develop a capsule wardrobe is really a bit of a no-brainer... because there's just not as much that fits anyway! SO, this has been a great experience thus far in proving two things:
All that being said, I'll share some of my outfits from the past week using my current capsule wardrobe. I'm still loving the wintry palette of black, cream, and burgundy/wine, although I'll admit I'm beginning to feel a little stumped on varying the combinations of items I gave myself to work with. Shown are the two new tops I bought last weekend, plus a maternity sweater that I traded in when the other gray marled sweater stopped fitting (oops).
- I can do a capsule wardrobe!
- I still love to shop!
All that being said, I'll share some of my outfits from the past week using my current capsule wardrobe. I'm still loving the wintry palette of black, cream, and burgundy/wine, although I'll admit I'm beginning to feel a little stumped on varying the combinations of items I gave myself to work with. Shown are the two new tops I bought last weekend, plus a maternity sweater that I traded in when the other gray marled sweater stopped fitting (oops).
Burgundy Stripe Tunic + Skinny Jeans + Booties
Blue & Black Striped Sweater Tunic + Black Leggings + Black Heeled Boots
(Baby Shower)
(Baby Shower)
Marled Gray Sweater* + Skinny Jeans + Black Flat Boots
Burgundy Shirt 3 Ways
This set of outfits features a super comfy tee that was a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law. It's actually not a maternity cut top, but it is long enough to fit now and will be a nice longer top post-pregnancy as well. Believe it or not, it's from Victoria's Secret!
Style 1: Church / Business Casual: + marled gray skirt + statement necklace + tights & heels
Style 2: Work from home / Running errands: + patterned infinity scarf + fav flats
Style 3: Dressy casual / date night: + vest + statement necklace + wedge heels
What I'm actually wearing right now!
Cozy Sunday afternoon: Burgundy Tee + Skinny Jeans + UGG Slippers (another great Christmas gift)
Thursday, January 21, 2016
How Pregnancy is Different (and the Same) the Second Time Around...
I'm giving myself credit for writing this post at all because, honestly, being pregnant the second time around means there's just not as much time as there was with the first pregnancy! Keeping up with a toddler and freelance work keeps me on my toes pretty much every day of the week. It's a wonder we found time to conceive a second child... TMI? Just checking to see who's reading. ;)
It has been a very difference experience this time around: we're no longer living in Chicago, I'm not working a full-time job and, of course, we have been through this once before. Not to say that makes me a pro (by no means!) but I do feel a lot more comfortable with the physical, emotional and mental changes that come with pregnancy. I can't say I feel the same level of comfort about parenting two children... but we'll get to that eventually, I guess (I hope!).
What's Been Different...
- The Test: With my first pregnancy, I took a pregnancy test at home, early on a Saturday morning. I was pretty surprised at the results, to be honest, and had to let it sink in for an hour or so before notifying hubby of the impending addition to our family. With this second pregnancy, I was at Target with Cormac and had a sneaking suspicion... so I picked up a test and took it right away in the Target bathroom (classy, right?). The results were instant and I called DH right away. :)
- The Beginning: First trimester was horrible. With McBaby #1, I had mild queasiness, in the morning, that was usually gone by the time I got to the office. With McBaby #2, it was all-day, non-stop nausea. Eating didn't help, not eating didn't help... it was no fun at all. Not enough to make me lose my lunch, but just enough to be a constant reminder that something was up (in an encouraging "there's-a-baby-in-there but please-make-it-stop sort of way). This was also my first clue that Baby #2 might be of a different gender...
- The Reveal: With my first pregnancy, the timing worked out so that we decided to let both families know on Mother's Day. It happened to be the Sunday after my brother-in-law's wedding, so we were with lots of family on one side and got to make the announcement in person. For my family in Georgia, I sent a special book about being a grandmother to my mother and waited expectantly for the call when she realized what the gift meant. It was a really happy moment. :) This time around, we were able to announce to both families in person. First, during my father's birthday dinner at our annual family reunion in Georgia. Can't say there was the same surprise as with the first announcement, but it was still fun/amusing to see the looks on their faces. When we got back from Georgia, we bought Cormac a cute "Big Brother" t-shirt to wear at our 4th of July party in Indiana a few days later... it was funny how long it took the family to realize that this meant another little McBaby was on the way!
- Time flies! As I sit here writing this, I am 36 weeks pregnant. And can't believe that in approximately 3-4 weeks (hopefully not more!) we'll be welcoming this little baby into the world. The weeks and months really have flown by. With my first pregnancy, each week was agonizing, especially early on, worrying about how the baby was doing and feeling anxious over the impending life changes. Of course, I still have concern for the welfare of baby #2, but the anxieties associated with a first-time pregnancy just don't seem to have as much impact the second time around. You know what to expect with labor & delivery (for the most part) and you can anticipate the time and energy required to care for a newborn, and so on. I have some new concerns about what it will be like to care for TWO children rather than just one... but I'm pretty sure taking it one day at a time will get us through. :)
- Wardrobe: The first time around, I was working full-time in a corporate office environment and my wardrobe reflected that: suit pants, blazers, dressier tops, etc. I don't know how much I spent expanding my clothing options to accommodate my maternity size, but I was glad to be able to feel comfortable and work-appropriate in the clothes I purchased. This time around, I'm at home most of the time and, with the exception of client meetings and church, I don't have as much occasion to "dress up". I've been trying to create a more minimalist wardrobe that really suits my day-to-day activities and clean out pieces that I may have had for years but just don't suit my lifestyle anymore. This process will definitely continue after the baby is born and I return to my pre-pregnancy clothes.
- Cravings: I wouldn't exactly call them "cravings" in the traditional sense, but I have certainly had different eating tendencies this time around than with Cormac. My first pregnancy spanned more over the warmer months and I ate a LOT of fresh fruit. Perhaps by the pound. This time around, I have been pregnant over the holidays and that has definitely made a difference. Lots more cookies! I've also wanted more protein-heavy items (meat, cheese, etc.) and potatoes... french fries, anyone? Hopefully this baby doesn't come out a total butterball!
What's Been The Same...
- Good times! I enjoy being pregnant! Except for the first several weeks of morning sickness (which seemed to drag on and on), I have generally enjoyed this pregnancy as much as the first one. The sense of anticipation is slightly different, tempered by the busyness of every day life with a toddler and working from home, but it is still such an exciting and hopeful time. Aside from a few bouts of illness and tiredness (which is generally resolved by going to bed early), I've experienced a sense of energy and creativity in both of my pregnancies so far that have made it a very pleasant experience. I wish women would talk more about all the happy and positive aspects of pregnancy, rather than waxing poetic over the not-so-enjoyable parts. But, I suppose that' s human nature. Either way, I'm here to tell you that being pregnant ain't half bad! :)
- Medical Care: As with my first pregnancy, I decided to see a midwife group this time around. I am so grateful that we live within a short driving distance of a highly reputable midwife practice and birth center. Although we had a midwife with Cormac and the experience was everything I could have hoped for, I delivered in a hospital environment (Prentice Women's Hospital in Chicago). This time around, we'll be at a birth center for a more "homey" experience. But the quality and type of care I've had with the midwives has been on par with my previous pregnancy and I'm so grateful that this has been available to me in both pregnancies thus far!
- Carrying "small": I don't exactly feel small at the moment, but I continue to get comments on carrying "low", and not looking "big enough" to be almost ready to give birth! It may have to do with that fact that I have a longer torso (and shorter legs), but it seems that the baby has plenty of room to hang out in the lower pelvic cavity, so I don't really get as large higher up. I feel as though I'm carrying the same as I did with Cormac (plus maybe a few extra pounds), so it's nice that there hasn't been much variance between carrying a girl vs. boy!
- Labor/Delivery: Well, I'll have to give you an updated on this later... but I do hope my labor/delivery experience is as good this time as it was the first time! I remember having some anxiety about what to expect the first time (who wouldn't?!?), but I also remember feeling at peace that whatever happened was in God's hands, and it would all work out for the best. While I do have one L/D experience under my belt this time around, there are still a million different things that could happen... the same or different. But, as before, I'm putting it in God's hands and trust that He will keep me and baby healthy and happy before, during and after delivery.
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